Cambodia

You're a shop owner in Saigon, Vietnam, and there's a mess of fallen leaves in front of your store. What do you do?

 

A)  Leave them there

B)  Spray paint them gold for good luck

C)  Sweep them into a pile, then light the pile on fire.

 

The correct answer is C, of course.

 

My pathetically short time in Vietnam has ended, and the country definitely deserves a repeat visit for at least a few weeks sometime in the future. I'll miss the great food, fascinating people, and the moto drivers who had a command of the roads that make the ones where I am now seem absolutely bumbling.

 

Where I am now is Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I took a 2-day boat ride through the Mekong Delta to get here. The Mekong River is the lifeblood of Southeast Asia, winding its way through several countries before the delta takes the water out to sea. I was on a boat that may well have been 200 years old, rowed powerfully by a woman and two oars. She was older than my mom.

 

Read anything about Cambodia and you'd understand my apprehension coming into the country. A madman named Pol Pot massacred most of the country in the late 1970s, and members of his party went hiding in the country's hills and jungles afterwards. They kidnapped and killed a bunch of tourists in 1993, and the country is known for violence and armed robbery.

 

The icing on the cake? In today's newspaper: "The decomposing body of a foreigner was found floating in the Tonle Sap River near the center of Phnom Penh, Cambodiayesterday at 4pm. It was found on Sisowath Cuay Boulevard.." I'm in an internet cafe in on Sisowath Cuay right now, and as I look out the window I see the Tonle Sap River right across the street. Righttttt....

 

That aside, I dig the country so far. The people smile nonstop and are super warm and personable. Even touchy-feely sometimes. Everyone seems to have a sense of humor -- from the restaurant menus that say things like "Juice: mango, lemon, cranberry, bla bla bla" to the sweet 95-year-old woman who laughs in your face when you try to pronounce "ah-kohn," which means "thank you."

 

50% of Cambodia's population is under the age of 17. Lots of the younger ones seem to run around the streets butt-naked. I understand -- it's really really hot here.

 

I've been here less than a day so I'll have a lot more to say. Here's a parting story:

 

I wake up yesterday and notice something on my arm. It looks strange, like a tarantula bit me in the middle of the night. I show it to assorted local people and ask what they think it is. The answers range from "stop eating spicy food, and rub this leaf on your arm for 3 days" to "you have herpes." Um, yeah. So I get a ride to the hospital, where every sign is written in a strange alphabet, probably Cambodian. I ask a doctor-looking man if he speaks English. He says "no" -- not with any actual words or facial expressions, but by walking away without batting an eye. I spend another 5 mintues walking around in a clueless stupor, then ask another person where to go for "in-for-ma-see-ohn." He points me into a room a few feet away. I walk in and bump into a crowd of doctors operating on a man who is screaming, evidently because he's undergoing surgery sans-anisthetic. Oh, Jesus.................